Prioritizing Personal Pleasure | Ep 33

Dr. Diane: Welcome to the Libido Lounge, where we focus on all things love, lust, and libido. We believe that fabulous sex is as important to health as exercise and good food.

Hey everybody, welcome back to another episode on the Lounge! Today we’re talking about prioritizing self-pleasure—personal pleasure in general. This is a challenging conversation, and it’s coming right after the previous episode about juggling jobs and joy. Why? Because this is a continuation of that topic: how do we continue to work pleasure into our lives when we’re juggling so many things?

How Pleasure Ties Into Libido

Let’s ground ourselves in how personal pleasure is connected to libido. Have you ever gone through a breakup and noticed one of two things happening to your libido?

Sometimes, libido soars—maybe you were in a relationship that had lost its spark, and once you’re out of it, your energy returns. Other times, you realize your libido has plummeted—you were so focused on fixing the relationship that you didn’t notice it slipping away. Either way, a key step to getting your mojo back is prioritizing your own pleasure.

When we take charge of our own pleasure, we often find that our libido improves. Experiencing more sexual yumminess within ourselves can increase our desire—and this is where self-pleasure becomes so powerful.

The Power of Pelvic Floor Training

Today, I want to talk about something really important in the pleasure world—Kegel training. Some of you might be thinking, “I already know what Kegels are.” But I’m going to teach you more than you might know.

Many people associate Kegels with toning the pelvic floor after pregnancy or for managing urinary incontinence and prolapse. While that’s true, Kegels can also help with pain, intimacy, and sexual pleasure.

When we control our pelvic floor muscles, we can contract around the penis during sex—changing the level of stimulation, influencing how long sex lasts, and how satisfying it is for both partners.

Why Most People Are Taught Kegels Incorrectly

A lot of people are taught Kegels in a really basic or incorrect way—like, “Just squeeze your pee muscles.” But that only targets part of the pelvic floor, and it’s hard to gauge how effectively you’re squeezing.

That’s why I love one of my favorite devices: a Kegel trainer from PlusOne. For those listening, I’m holding it up—it looks almost like a sperm, with a bigger head and a long tail that stays outside the vagina, kind of like a tampon string.

It comes with a remote. When you insert the device and squeeze, the remote shows how strong your squeeze is with lights—helping you track your progress.

Turning Training Into Motivation

I like seeing results. It’s like cleaning up your diet and noticing you have more energy or mental clarity. When we see our Kegel strength improving, we’re more motivated to continue.

I keep my device in the shower—right in my line of sight—so it’s built into my routine. While my conditioner sets in, I do my Kegels. I’ve seen huge sexual improvements from consistent pelvic floor exercises, and so have many women I work with.

It’s a Vibrator Too—Yes, Really!

Here’s the bonus: this Kegel trainer is also a vibrator. It has different pulses and settings, so it’s not just a tool—it’s also a pleasure device. That’s the magic of personal care and personal pleasure wrapped into one.

Getting your mojo back doesn’t mean waiting for someone else—it means giving yourself that pleasure. When your body remembers how good oxytocin and orgasm feel, it wants more. That’s how we reignite desire.

Getting Started: Fake It Till You Make It

Sometimes, like going to the gym, you just have to do it even when it feels hard or awkward. Say to yourself: “Pleasure is good. Pleasure is medicine. This is how I support my stress, my hormones, and my happiness.”

Start with a tool like the Kegel trainer or another vibrator. Over time, your body will wake up again. You become more sexual, more vibrant, more alive.

The Orgasmic Morning Routine

I know clients who start their day with an orgasm. Why? Because it boosts serotonin, reduces cortisol, and makes them walk into work happier, calmer, and more balanced. That morning orgasm becomes a secret power tool.

Just like meditation, pleasure improves efficiency and effectiveness. It gives time back to you, even when it feels like it’s “one more thing” on your plate.

Why We Can’t Afford to Skip Pleasure

Running on stress hormones all day breaks the body down. Pleasure—especially consistent, daily pleasure—balances hormones, supports longevity, and helps us enjoy life more fully.

Let’s be real—life can be overwhelming. Jobs, kids, soccer practice, sick parents, pets… the list is endless. But pleasure? That’s one thing that gives back.

And let’s not forget—it’s way healthier than wine (and I love wine). But unlike alcohol, orgasm and oxytocin support hormone balance, stress relief, and even disease prevention.

The Quickie That Changes Everything

When you’re pressed for time, remember: a solo orgasm can take just 3–5 minutes. You don’t always need a 60-minute partner session. A quickie with a vibrator or your own touch can reset your body, shift your mood, and get those happy hormones flowing.

So please—make time for you. Even when life is full, find your moments of sensual self-care.

Take the Next Step

That’s it for today’s Lounge. I’ll see you soon in the next episode!

Please go take my Libido Quiz—it’s a great way to learn whether your root cause is cardiovascular, adrenal, or something else. You’ll find the quiz linked in the show notes.

Again, I’m Dr. Diane, always reminding you to stay sexy, stay classy, and always be a little better.

Thank you for listening to the Libido Lounge. Please don’t keep me a secret—share this with your friends!

You can find me on YouTube, on Instagram, and check out our Modern Libido Club for so much more!