The Top 3 Libido Killers You Need to Know | Ep 38

Welcome to the Lounge

Dr. Diane: Welcome to the Libido Lounge where we focus on all things love, lust, and libido. We believe that fabulous sex is as important to your health as exercise and good food.

Hey everybody, Dr. Diane, your Libido Doc here. Welcome back to another episode of the Lounge. I’m so excited to have you today. We’re talking about the top three most major root causes of a low libido.

If you’re listening to this and you’re like, “Well, I don’t even know for sure if I have a low libido—is my libido low?” then make sure you go back to earlier episodes of this podcast where I talk about that, or you can just head over to libidoquiz.com and take my free libido quiz. It goes through a research-based questionnaire to help determine whether your libido is actually low.

If it is, the quiz will guide you through identifying the top likely root causes. I’ll also include info in the show notes about my post on wanting to want it. And make sure you look out for my book Want to Want It coming out later this year—we’re going deep into all of these topics.

The Three Root Categories of Low Libido

The top three root causes are physical, personal, and interpersonal. These are the major categories behind a low libido, a lack of passion, and those juicy, yummy feelings we want more of.

Let’s break it down.

🔬 Physical Causes of Low Libido

Dr. Diane: Physical reasons are commonly connected to sex hormones—probably the most well-known cause. I work with a lot of hormone specialists, and they often send clients to me when balancing hormones doesn’t fully solve libido issues.

Balanced hormones can absolutely help, but they don’t always fix everything. I’m talking about estrogen, progesterone, testosterone, DHEA, cortisol, and thyroid hormones—so there’s a lot wrapped up in that hormonal picture.

Cardiovascular Health

Another physical factor? Cardiovascular health. Libido issues are often an early warning sign of heart issues. Dr. Joel Kahn, a cardiologist, taught me this. We often hear this connection in men with erectile dysfunction, but it also applies to women.

Poor blood flow affects our ability to lubricate, feel aroused, and experience pleasure. So, cardiovascular issues can be a big root cause.

Nervous System & Brain-Body Connection

Then there’s the nervous system. Your brain has to send the right signals to your erectile tissue. If that connection isn’t strong, arousal doesn’t happen easily.

Stress

Stress is massive. Cortisol and DHEA—the two main stress hormones—can really impact libido. While stress can increase libido in some people, for most, it turns it down. The brain chemistry just isn’t in sync with sexual response when we’re overloaded.

Inflammation & Toxins

Inflammation and toxins, like BPA (an endocrine disruptor), also affect libido. There are subcategories galore here—and I love going down those rabbit holes—but for now, just know physical factors are layered and deep.

💫 Personal Root Causes of Low Libido

Dr. Diane: This is a category I’ve talked about throughout the podcast, but not in this structured way.

Clarity & Confidence

Do you really know your needs, preferences, and desires? Do you know what helps you feel good?

For example, do you need 10 minutes of soft touch to really get into your body? I know couples who start every sexual encounter with massage because they know it helps them shift into that sexy space.

Knowing your turn-ons and turn-offs is essential. So many people are programmed by societal scripts about sex—they don’t understand what actually works for them.

The Wrong Kind of Sex

This is where the idea of having the “wrong type of sex” comes in. If you’re not tapped into your own erotic blueprint, you’re likely having experiences that don’t excite or satisfy you.

Pelvic Health & Muscle Tone

Let’s not forget pelvic health. Are you doing proper vaginal weightlifting or Kegels? These strengthen muscles and enhance sexual function. Men, this applies to you too—controlling orgasm, edging, and building muscular control all add up to stronger pleasure.

If your pelvic muscles are weak or overly tight (which can happen when we hold stress there), you might experience pain or difficulty orgasming.

Internal Work & Sexual Massagers

Doing internal massage, using your fingers or massagers, can help. There are even professionals who offer pelvic floor release work. It’s about helping your body function properly for more enjoyable sex.

Communication & Sexual Types

Knowing how to communicate your needs and understanding your sexual type (like your sexual language) is a powerful personal tool. I’ve defined five sexual types, and you can listen to the episode where I go deep into that.

🤝 Interpersonal Root Causes of Low Libido

Dr. Diane: Finally, the interpersonal.

Do you know your partner’s sexual type? Have you shared yours? Are you scheduling sex—or as I call them, “intimacy escapades”? That includes both physical and emotional intimacy.

Are you communicating clearly about your body’s uniqueness? Are you open to novelty? Because if you’re not connecting, teaching, learning, or prioritizing one another, passion starts to fade.

Putting It All Together

Dr. Diane: If you want to want it, we need to get all three—physical, personal, and interpersonal—aligned and turned on.

My upcoming book Want to Want It will dive deep into this. I don’t have an exact release date yet, but stay tuned. I’ll be doing giveaways and sharing amazing offers when it launches.

Start by taking the libido quiz—it focuses on the physical side, but it’s a great start. And keep following this podcast to learn more about each layer and what you can do to reignite your desire.

Stay Connected

Dr. Diane: That’s it for today on the Libido Lounge. Make sure you subscribe and share this episode with friends so you never miss the juicy content coming your way.

This is Dr. Diane reminding you to always stay sexy, always stay classy, and always remember to be a little badassy.

You can find me on YouTube, on Instagram, and check out our Modern Libido Club for so much more!