The Truth About Sexual Fulfillment: Relationship Advice No One Talks About | Ep 73

Welcome to The Libido Lounge

Dr. Diane: Welcome to the Libido Lounge! We focus on all things love, lust, and libido. We believe that fabulous sex is just as important to health as exercise and good food.

Hey everybody, welcome back to another episode on the lounge. I’m your libido expert, Dr. Diane, and I have a great treat for you today. Psychology and sex and relationship expert—and new friend of mine—Leah Spasova is on the show with me today.

We’re going to talk about pleasure, society’s programming around pleasure, prioritization of pleasure, and what truly happens to us as humans when we pass over it like an afterthought. We’ll dig into what that really means for your health, your wellness, your relationships, your happiness—and so much more.

Dr. Diane: Leah, welcome to the show. I’m so happy to have you! Can you tell us a little bit about yourself and your journey? How did you get into the world of sexology? You have a great website we’ll put in the show notes called Life’s Explicit. How did that come about?

Leah Spasova: First of all, thank you for having me. It’s a pleasure to chat and create with you again.

The short version is, I was lucky to grow up in a sex-positive family. I had questions about sex and relationships just like every other kid, but mine were always answered as a matter of fact—no shame, no guilt. I was never asked “where did you hear this” or told I was too young to know.

I became the go-to expert for my friends from a very early age because I was also a nerd. I learned from books, people, and an NGO I joined when I was 14. They trained us on healthy relationships, domestic violence, drug abuse—you name it.

Later, I went into the psychology and mental health field but still found myself answering questions about sex and relationships. I eventually had a crisis in my work—I was in mental health in the UK, which is atrocious—and I realized I needed to listen to myself and the people around me.

So, I opened my private practice and years later launched Life’s Explicit. I get great referrals, often have a waitlist, and I created the platform to invite colleagues and provide a censorship-free space where people can access trusted professionals.

Sexology Finds You: How Passion Becomes Purpose

Dr. Diane: I love your story. It’s like this profession just found you through your own interest and the natural direction of your life. Let’s dive into some of the topics we wanted to cover—starting with something we talked about briefly offline: censorship.

I imagine you’ve had similar experiences as a sexologist—like how much censorship there is just in promoting our work. How does censorship actually influence public health, especially around healthy sex? And what do you think would happen if we had better policies?

Leah Spasova: The censorship is brutal. I keep saying comedians have more freedom to talk about getting laid or getting sucked off than we do when we try to talk about healthy sex and relationships. We get banned—and people don’t realize this.

That’s one reason I created Life’s Explicit. It’s a censorship-free space with resources by professionals.

When it comes to the future—it’s bleak, honestly. The world is going far right, more polarized. I was just talking to a sex worker and adult content creator about how companies profit from our insecurity. They don’t profit when we’re joyful and connected. They profit when we’re detached and miserable.

If we removed censorship and allowed open conversations about pleasure, connection, and intimacy, society would move closer to utopia. People would be healthier, happier, and have more sex—not just mechanical sex, but connected, fulfilling intimacy.

Pleasure vs. the Script: Why We’re Bored in Bed

Dr. Diane: You’re making me think of the monotony that happens when sex becomes a script. People get into these sexual routines—he does this, she does that—and it becomes repetitive and boring.

It’s like you said, staying in one corner of a buffet. It could be the best chicken salad ever, but if that’s all you eat every time, it’s going to get boring.

You also brought up the idea that we’re often motivated to move away from pain more than toward pleasure. What if we changed that? What if we prioritized pleasure as a motivation?

Leah Spasova: I have to start with consumerism again. If people haven’t read 1984 by George Orwell or Brave New World by Aldous Huxley, they should. Governments seem to have taken these dystopias as manuals.

We’re still motivated by pleasure, but now it’s sold to us in the form of things—Amazon packages, luxury items—but it’s fleeting and fake.

Sex sells because it promises confidence, connection, pleasure. But we’re discouraged from actually experiencing real sex and intimacy because then we wouldn’t need all the other stuff.

If we lived pleasure-filled lives, we’d have fewer things and more time, more connection, more joy. We’d have better health, better relationships. Imagine grabbing a blanket, reading a book on the beach, making love, sharing meals—that’s pleasure. That’s what we’re really after.

The ROI of Pleasure: Health, Happiness, and High Performance

Dr. Diane: I love this perspective. Have you noticed real changes in people’s health or career when they begin to prioritize pleasure?

Leah Spasova: Absolutely. A few years ago, I gave a talk to CEOs and entrepreneurs in Oxford. I asked if they’d ever had such a great intimate experience that they felt like they could conquer the world afterward. Heads nodded.

Then I asked if they’ve ever had a fight with their partner, gone to work, and been completely distracted by it all day. More nods.

So yes—when employees have healthy intimate relationships, they show up to work happy, focused, and productive. There’s less drama. It’s a return on investment. The same goes for health—sex is physical, emotional, and mental exercise. It lowers stress, boosts mood, and strengthens relationships.

I truly believe that if we had better intimacy and relationship skills, we’d see less depression and anxiety. There’s a massive connection between being sexually fulfilled and being well in body, mind, and spirit.

How to Stay Connected and Get Support

Dr. Diane: That’s so powerful, Leah. There are so many benefits here—and it really drives home the importance of getting censorship out of the conversation. Sex isn’t just this one moment—it’s a key to health and happiness.

We’re at time, but I want to make sure people know how to connect with you. And I know you have a free gift to share as well!

Leah Spasova: Yes! I’m offering a free ebook called The 3 Secrets to a Pleasure-Filled Life. You can find it on my website. You can also find me on Life’s Explicit—or just Google my name. I’m very googleable!

And if what we’ve talked about today resonates with you, please seek support. We need more intimacy, more joy, and more real connection in this world.

Dr. Diane: I love that. And remember, in 2025 we’re continuing what we started in 2024: tracking who gets the most likes and downloads across all our channels. That guest will be invited back in December for a deep dive, where we’ll take your submitted questions and go even deeper. So help Leah out—download, share, and spread the love!

You can find me on YouTube, on Instagram, and check out our Modern Libido Club for so much more!