Interview transcript with Bibi Brzozka on The Libido Lounge podcast hosted by Dr. Diane Mueller

Introduction to Euphroic Orgasms

Dr. Mueller: Welcome to the Libido Lounge where we focus on all things love, lust, and libido. We believe that fabulous sex is important to health as exercise and good food. I’m your libido expert Dr. Diane Mueller, and I’m excited about our guest today, Bibi Brzozka. Bibi is going to talk to us about going beyond hormones. Often with libido issues, we think it’s just hormones and get them checked, but while important, this doesn’t always solve the underlying problem of how to have better sex. Welcome to our podcast, Bibi! Let’s start with you telling people about yourself and how you got into this work.

Bibi Brzozka’s Background

Bibi: Thank you for having me. I love the name of this podcast, Libido Lounge – genius! In a short description, I come from Poland and grew up in communism. I wanted to travel the world and earn money, so I studied finance and banking and went into the corporate world for 15 years. I did travel and earn a lot of money, but was absolutely unfulfilled, which brought me into my midlife crisis – a portal of growth that many people resonate with.

I finally left the golden cage of the corporate world and embarked on my personal growth journey. During a workshop, I awakened my sexual energy and had my first full-body orgasm without touching any parts of my body while fully clothed. Once that energy was activated, it remained activated, and I started having beautiful energetic orgasmic experiences.

It was so profound, beautiful, and life-changing that I began investigating what was happening and how to cultivate more of it. This led me to exploring conscious sexuality and neo-tantra. When you discover something so amazing, you want to shout it from the rooftops, which is what happened. People started coming to me wanting to know more, and that’s how my new career started.

I’m a certified sex, love, and relationship coach, certified erotic blueprint coach, international speaker, Mindvalley teacher, and I like to call myself an energetic lovemaking facilitator. I serve people worldwide online and in person in English and Spanish. I also call myself an orgasm facilitator.

Beyond Hormones To Build Erotic Desire

Dr. Mueller: I love so many things you said, especially about orgasms with clothes on! That’s a great lead-in to our topic of going beyond hormones. Tell us more about why hormones aren’t fixing everything, the different types of sex we can have, and what’s going on.

Bibi: There are so many different reasons for that. I’ll focus more on women in this answer. First, research shows we’re really sensitive to context, more so than men. Everything prior to the intimate act can either increase or decrease our desire and drive. This isn’t what we see in pornography where everyone is already “on the go.”

It starts with context – are you in a place where you feel safe? Are you tired? Are you emotionally connected to the person you’re intimate with? Let’s bring awareness to this because many women share that there’s no context or deep emotional and spiritual connection with their partner before going straight to sex.

Second is the anatomy of women’s arousal. Our knowledge often comes from pornography. Women are like water when it comes to sexuality, not fire which is more masculine sexuality. We are more receptive, yin. It takes time for water to boil – around seven minutes – while fire can ignite within seconds. For women, it takes time to warm up, requiring longer foreplay – at least 20 minutes up to 45 minutes to really open up and enjoy penetration fully. If sex lasts on average 5.4 minutes, most women never reach a place where they’re even semi-ready, so of course they’re not enjoying it.

Another thing – the gateway to female sexuality is her breasts and heart. If we’re not opening there and jumping straight into vaginal penetration, most women aren’t nourished by sexual encounters and lose interest.

Another challenge is how we approach penetration. From pornography, we mainly focus on genital friction and one type of orgasm – the climactic type, which is a limited understanding. It’s the buildup of pleasure in genitals, climax, release, and contraction. But there are other ways to experience orgasm.

Some people refer to this as sexual erotic blueprints because we all have different sexual languages. I am a sensual and energetic erotic blueprint. I can have orgasms just from stroking my body – ear-gasms, neck-gasms, breast-gasms – and don’t even need penetration. As an energetic blueprint, I get aroused by anticipation and can move energy beyond the genitals, which is where you can have full-body orgasmic experiences. Very few people know this exists or tap into it.

Coming back to hormones – many clients, especially female clients, share they’ve lost interest in sex and immediately think it’s hormones. I recently had a 70-year-old client who avoided sex in her marriage for 12 years. She went to a doctor, got hormone therapy, but it didn’t help. She and her partner took my Ecstatic Lovers course and now they’re having the best sex of their lives – they’re not even going out for dinners anymore! They discovered they have all kinds of erotic blueprints and are having energy orgasms and being kinky. She went back to the doctor and told him it wasn’t the hormones – it was lack of emotional connection, lack of foreplay, and not the kind of interaction that would get her excited and nourished.

While hormones can be a reason and should be checked, often there are other reasons. Women often lose interest not because something’s wrong with them or with sex, but because of the type of sex we’re mainly having in our society.

Exploring Different Sexual Styles

Dr. Mueller: I appreciate that so much, especially the relationship to the porn industry. Someone once told me we need to look at porn like fantasy – like watching X-Men and not jumping off a building thinking we have superpowers. It’s fantasy, not reality. How do you help people begin to understand and explore what sex is right for them?

Bibi: I like to take them through a journey and explore all different flavors and expressions. From that embodied exploration and experience, they can see what really works for them. You can take a test on erotic blueprints on Jaiya’s website, but if you start with a test, you’re probably just going with your mind and past experiences. Most people haven’t had enough sensual or energetic experiences, so they don’t know what’s possible.

First, I guide them through creating safety and language for having conversations about sex. Even admitting there’s more to learn can be challenging, especially for men who might think it means they’re not good enough.

I start with emotional connection and intimacy – not just physical but spiritual intimacy. I like to say, “We want to open our hearts before we open our legs.” From that safe space and emotional/spiritual connection, which might not involve touch at all, I move to sensuality. Before sex, we want to explore the senses, the entire body, not just genitals, and different types of touch. We’ve lost appreciation for sensuality because we go straight to sex and the end goal.

From sensuality, I move into sexuality and different experiences – slower, with more awareness of different arousal levels, not chasing the peak. Then I introduce playing with energy, adding breath and visualization and moving sexual energy. Finally, I bring in experiences of kink and BDSM.

This way, people try different flavors and decide where they’re at. Many are surprised – “I am energetic! I never knew what energy was!” or “I am actually kinky!” because they judged it from porn where things seemed aggressive. When you combine kinky with sensual, it can be beautiful, elegant, and inviting.

I do this mainly online so clients can experience it in the comfort of their own bed – it’s beautiful, safe, and powerful.

Dr. Mueller: I really like the online version because of the safety aspect. Being in your own home and bed can access that feeling of safety.

Bibi: Yes, and this way I have people for a longer period rather than just a five-day retreat. When installing new habits, we need at least 30 days. I can make sure they have the new routine at home in their day-to-day environment. What’s challenging about retreats is when you return to busy life, it’s difficult to put things into practice, while here we do it from the get-go.

Actionable Step to Euphoric Orgasm

Dr. Mueller: That’s really wise. Before we tell people how to find you, is there one actionable step someone could do in the comfort of their own home?

Bibi: I’ll share one of my favorites – the most essential one: conscious, high-vibration masturbation, a beautiful act of self-pleasure. Take an hour, put on beautiful music (Planet Bibi is my Spotify with plenty of playlists), slow down, explore your entire body, and breathe deeply into your belly. Slow your breathing, touch, and stimulation. Allow yourself to discover, doing things differently, and maybe not focusing on orgasm – it might happen toward the end, but it’s not the goal.

The idea is to explore your entire body, slower breath, more subtle sensations, playfulness, and curiosity. Just doing these few things, you’ll experience a shift and new sensations. From there, you can apply the same with your partner, but start by playing with yourself first. I always say you can only play a duet concert with another musician once you learn to play your own instrument. Take time to play that instrument, then take it to a concert with a partner.

Dr. Mueller: I love it – just exploring that way. It’s easy to fall into the same patterns with masturbation just like with a partner. We don’t learn our own bodies.

Bibi: We’re creatures of habit, stressed and busy, and everyone just wants to get it done. Observe, because how you self-pleasure is how you do anything is how you do everything. How you self-pleasure sets the tone for your lovemaking. If it’s “five minutes and slam bam thank you ma’am,” then you can’t complain if that’s what your partner is doing.

Final Thoughts

Dr. Mueller: Thank you so much for spending time with me on the Libido Lounge. What offerings do you want to make sure we mention?

Bibi: I have two signature programs for deep dives that create shifts and transformation. “Lead to Bliss” is my main mentorship for women, and “Ecstatic Lovers Academy” is my main program for couples, lasting six months. It’s always a “zero to hero” journey – we go slow, ensure safety, and it’s elegant and beautiful. You can schedule an interview with me, and there are free practices on my website – guided audios for partners (“Soul Connector”) and for women (“Erotic Glow Activation”). Download them, follow the practice, see how it feels, and reach out if it speaks to you.

Dr. Mueller: Thank you so much, Bibi. Thank you everybody for listening. I hope you got as much out of this as I did – thinking beyond hormones, about the type of sex you can explore and change with yourself and your partner. Go deeper, learn more, take it slow, be safe, and always remember: stay sexy, stay classy, stay a little badassy. I’ll see you next time.

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