Introduction to the Libido Lounge

Dr. Diane Mueller: Welcome to the Libido Lounge, where we focus on all things love, lust, and libido. We believe that fabulous sex is as important to health as exercise and good food. Hey everybody, Dr. Diane here. Welcome to another episode on the Libido Lounge. I’m thrilled to have mold and functional medicine expert Evan Brand with me. Evan, welcome, and tell us a little bit about some of the top tips that you would give somebody with sexual health issues—and we’re talking specifically to women on this show.

Evan Brand: Sure, thanks for having me—it’s a pleasure. Well, I see primarily women in my online practice, and none of you all, unfortunately, have adequate libido—it’s rare, okay? So for the rare bird out there listening—congratulations, you’re a rare bird—but the vast majority of women, they’ve got nothing.

Emotional and Lifestyle Factors Affecting Libido

Evan Brand: So some of it’s emotional—they don’t have enough time with their spouse, he’s working too long, he’s working too late, she’s too tired from the kids, she’s too tired from all the house chores—there’s just an imbalance of energy. Her pie—the little sexual piece of the pie—is so small because the other pieces of her lifestyle pie are kids, family, husband, house chores, financial, this relationship, that—and the sex piece, just as you get older and as life’s responsibilities pile on, that sex piece just gets smaller and smaller and smaller.

Making Time for Intimacy

Evan Brand: So I would encourage you to try to allocate more of that pie—so whether that’s you changing your work schedule—maybe you switch your shift, maybe you switch the days of the week you work, maybe you can arrange that you and your spouse have a day off together—maybe your schedules are kind of mismatched right now—maybe it’s something simple, like, hey, he’s going to take off Tuesdays because I’m off Tuesdays, and guess what, Tuesday’s our day—and then you literally put it in the calendar—Tuesday at 11:00 a.m., before lunch, I’ll meet you in the bedroom—and you literally put it on the calendar and make it happen. Even if you’re grumpy and not in the mood that day, you try to go for it—you’re probably not going to regret it. So that’s, like, the emotional time piece.

Biochemical Support for Libido

Evan Brand: And then on the biochemistry piece—the underlying piece—you really need a good workup, and I would look at hormones—because it is true that women have lower testosterone than men, but you ladies still need plenty of it. And when we do hormone testing, we find most women are pretty low in testosterone—so we could use these kind of pro-androgen herbs to help increase their ability to optimize hormones. This doesn’t mean I’m giving women testosterone—I’m not—you can, but I’m not doing bioidenticals—I’m using adaptogenic herbs.

Herbs and Natural Remedies

Evan Brand: So we may use things like maca, or I really love cordyceps mushrooms—that can really help kind of perk people up a little bit—and then we’ll combine more pro-androgens in it—and this could include animal parts—so this could be thyroid glandular, adrenal glandular, this could be elk antler, or other types of natural—if you will—they’re natural steroids, in a way—where you can crank these women back up and get them turned on.

Enhancing with Tools

Evan Brand: You may need to introduce toys into the mix—I mean, I was kind of anti-toy because I just thought that, like, this is a replacement, you know—I was worried that these women were going to use this vibrator or other toy as a replacement for their partner—and maybe some do because they’re just too tired, they’d rather buzz it and be done with it—but I find now that it’s an enhancement tool—especially when you’re a woman that has hormonal issues due to toxins—there could be some sort of blood flow issue—and these tools and toys can be a good way to encourage blood flow to the area—and more blood flow equals more pleasure, more sensation.

Evan Brand: So if a woman doesn’t have her female erection and she tries to have sex, it’s not going to be very pleasurable—and I don’t think men are very perceptive of that—so maybe you have the conversation with your spouse, like, hey, honey, I have to get turned on, and I have to get some blood flow too—so this isn’t just an empty tunnel here—like, I need some blood flow here to make this thing feel better for me—so you’re going to have to just tell your man to just slow down. I’ll pause—and then if you want to go from there—

Dr. Diane Mueller: There’s a lot you said there—there’s so much you said there—and I think, you know, when we’re talking about timing, we’re talking about vibrators—the one thing that I’ll also add on to the vibrator thing—because I see it so commonly—is people are worried about vibrator addiction—you guys, that does not hold up in the sexual medical literature—like, sometimes people can have a little bit of a change in their nervous system signal to the genitals post-sex or post-vibrator use where all of a sudden the nerves aren’t sending as much blood flow—very temporarily—but that tends to last only for a few minutes in women—it doesn’t happen all the time—and it’s not addictive—and it can happen both with vibrators and with sex—and it’s just the nervous system re-acclimating to the changes—and it goes right back to normal.

Dr. Diane Mueller: So that’s the one thing I want to throw in there—because I see that so commonly—I’m, like, ah, am I going to get addicted to the vibrator—no—it’s basically everything you said—it’s a great additive toy—it can help—it’s—some vibrators are now even approved by the FDA as medical devices because of what they’re actually shown to do from a—you know—healing from a low libido, a low sexual desire disorder scenario—so I just want to comment on that—before you continue on—what else are you gonna say?

Evan Brand: That’s cool—well, think of it like if you’re going to go get some organic, grass-fed ice cream in a cup—it’s pretty good—but what if you had, like, a gluten-free cone with it—that’s probably a little better—so sex with a little something extra—it’s fine—so I would just tell people to be open to it—you don’t have to be, you know, scared or embarrassed by—I mean, vibration is vibration, and blood flow is blood flow—it kind of breaks down quite simply.

Dr. Diane Mueller: Yeah, 100%, 100%.

Upcoming Summit and Final Thoughts

Dr. Diane Mueller: And you guys—you will find more—I have Evan coming up on my Sexual Health Summit that is being launched here in a few months—so look out for that in the show notes—we’re gonna go super deep with all of these topics—and if you want anything from Evan beforehand—if you want to check out his amazing work and training and how he helps people really get to the root cause of so many different disorders—go to evanbrand.com—correct?

Evan Brand: That’s right—are we supposed to make sexual jokes here too? Because you said “super deep”—are we supposed to say—

Dr. Diane Mueller: Always room for puns in the sex world—that’s right—that’s right.

Evan Brand: Yeah—this is an important piece of your life—so I do encourage people—yeah, check it out—and then, you know, we’ll also have you on my podcast too—so we can talk about this subject—because it is—to me, it’s an elephant in the room—and I see a lot of couples not having good sex and not having enough sex—and it affects every aspect of your life and how you approach your life—your confidence, your overall outlook—I mean, you know, like, there’s hormonal changes happening when you’re bonding with someone—even if we’re not talking intercourse here—so I mean, there’s important things—there’s a reason—you look at tribal societies—I’ve actually looked at this—I don’t know how much you’ve poked this apart—but nine times a week was the average for a tribal society to have sex—

Dr. Diane Mueller: I didn’t know that particular one from a tribal society—that’s amazing—and you bring up a point that I emphasize so much too—of, like, we talk so much in functional medicine about wellness being, like, good diet, good nutrition, not sitting too much, getting enough sleep, getting enough movement—and, like, all of these foundational core components—well, sex is actually—should be on that list too—because all these other things we’re listing off—around enough movement, enough sleep, and proper diet—sex actually can impact things on a very, very similar level from a widespread health component—just like you’re talking about—so I really appreciate your—you know—bringing to light that component of things—and thank you so much for this—and I can’t wait to be on your podcast—and everybody, make sure you check out Evan’s talk at my upcoming summit—we’ll see everybody soon.

Dr. Diane Mueller: Thank you for listening to the Libido Lounge. Please don’t keep me a secret—please share this with your friends. You can find me on YouTube, on Instagram, as well as the Modern Libido Club—for so much more!