The Top 3 Libido Killers You Need to Know

Dr. Diane: Welcome to the Libido Lounge, where we focus on all things love, lust, and libido. We believe that fabulous sex is as important to health as exercise and good food. Hey everybody, Dr. Diane, your Libido Doc here. Welcome back to another episode of the Lounge. I’m so excited to have you today.

Today, we’re talking about the top three most major root causes of a low libido. If you’re listening to this and wondering, “Is my libido low?” make sure you go back to earlier episodes where I talk about that. Or, you can just head over to libidoquiz.com and take my free libido quiz.

It’s a research-based questionnaire that will help you figure out whether your libido is low. If it is, it’ll walk you through your most likely root causes.

I’ll also include in the show notes a link to my post about Wanting to Want It—and make sure to look out for my book by the same name coming out later this year, where I’ll dive much deeper into these topics.

The Three Main Root Cause Categories

The top three root cause categories are: physical, personal, and interpersonal.

These are the key areas that affect why we might feel like we’ve lost our spark or our passion—why those juicy, yummy feelings are just… gone. Let’s break them down.

Physical Root Causes of Low Libido

Physical causes include:

• Hormones: These include estrogen, progesterone, testosterone, DHEA, cortisol, and thyroid hormones. While hormone balancing can help many people, it doesn’t always “turn the want back on.” This is often why clients get referred to me—because hormones alone aren’t the full picture.
• Cardiovascular Health: Libido can be the first sign of cardiovascular issues. Dr. Joel Kahn, an incredible cardiologist, talks about this a lot. And while we often think about this in men (erectile dysfunction), women are affected too. Blood flow, erectile tissue, lubrication, and pleasure are all connected.
• Nervous System: Your brain needs to send the right signals to your body. If there’s a block in the nervous system, it can interfere with your turn-on process.
• Stress: Cortisol and DHEA—the two major stress hormones—are huge players. For most people, stress kills libido. It’s rare, but some people experience stress as a turn-on. However, for the majority of us, it’s a brake, not an accelerator.
• Toxins: Endocrine disruptors like BPA can mess with hormone balance. Inflammation, toxicity, and poor lifestyle choices all fall under this physical umbrella.

Personal Root Causes: Confidence, Clarity & Connection

Now let’s move on to the personal category.

This includes:

• Confidence and Clarity: Do you know the difference between your needs, preferences, and desires? For example, maybe you need 10 minutes of soft touch before you can even get into your body. That’s a need, not just a preference.
• Knowing What Turns You Off: If you don’t understand your turn-offs, or you’re having the wrong kind of sex for your body and desires, it’s going to be hard to want it. Many of us have sex based on what society says sex should be, not what actually works for us.
• Pelvic Floor Health: Proper pelvic tone and internal muscle control matter! Things like Kegel exercises, vaginal weightlifting, and internal massage can make a big difference—for both women and men. Men working on edging techniques, for example, often report increased pleasure and stamina.
• Sexual Types: I’ve defined five sexual types (kind of like love languages) that help us understand how we show up in our best sexual selves. Make sure to check out my episode on that topic!

Interpersonal Root Causes: Partner Dynamics & Communication

The third category is interpersonal—how we relate to our partner.

This includes:

• Do you know your partner’s sexual type?
• Are you talking about your desires, needs, preferences, and turn-offs?
• Do you schedule intimacy—whether it’s physical or emotional?

I call these intimacy escapades. When we prioritize these and create sacred space for them, we deepen connection and increase desire.

If we don’t know our own body or our partner’s, and we’re not communicating or creating intentional connection, it’s easy to drift apart sexually.

Want to Want It? Align All Three Categories

To want to want it, all three areas—physical, personal, and interpersonal—need to be aligned, nourished, and activated.

My upcoming book Want to Want It will go into all of this in way more depth. I don’t have a release date just yet, but please take the libido quiz so we can stay connected. I’ll be doing fun promos, giveaways, and supportive content around the book launch—and I want you to be part of it!

The quiz focuses mostly on the physical side for now, but I’ll be adding more tools for the personal and interpersonal sides too.

Let’s Stay Connected

Dr. Diane: That’s it for today, my friends. Go take the libido quiz to learn about your root causes, and keep listening for more juicy insights into what’s really going on with your desire.

Make sure you subscribe and share this podcast with your friends so they don’t miss out either.

I’m Dr. Diane, reminding you to always stay sexy, always stay classy, and always remember to be a little badassy.

See you next time—and thank you for listening to another episode of the Libido Lounge!

You can find me on YouTube, on Instagram, and check out our Modern Libido Club for so much more!