Feeling sexual is when you feel in the mood for sex. It is when you desire to have sex. It’s a feeling that, historically, women have been told to suppress because it is shameful. But we are no longer in that world. As women, we can embrace feeling sexual and not be embarrassed. But even so, we might not always feel sexual.
The feeling comes and goes, like other emotions. Sometimes we are in the mood and sometimes we just aren’t. Or maybe you have a little trouble feeling sexual because of society’s messages that this feeling should be repressed…Or maybe you feel a little shy about your body.
Feeling sexual involves embracing your sensuality and your sexuality. It is about recognizing your desires and what you want sexually.
There are some ways to feel more sexual.
Be Yourself
Being yourself is the authentic expression of your true nature. It means embracing your individuality, quirks, and unique character without fear, judgment or comparison. It is knowing yourself, having self-awareness, understanding your strengths, weaknesses, and passions.
Can you answer questions like What are your core values, beliefs, and emotions? Or Do you fully accept yourself?
Being yourself is an ongoing process. It may require the courage to break free from societal expectations. Ultimately, it leads to a more fulfilling and genuine life where you can align with your true identity and fully be yourself.
Wherever you are on your journey, don’t feel pressured. Listen to your internal self and just take on what you are ready for in that moment in time. Don’t feel pressure to engage in sex if you’re not ready or don’t want to. Consent is critical and you should never feel obligated to participate.
To feel sexual, it helps to feel comfortable and relaxed in a sexual situation. This creates a positive experience.
Try to build an emotional connection with your partner. Building trust and emotional intimacy with a partner makes for a more fulfilling sexual relationship. This involves open and honest communication. Talk about your desires, boundaries, and consent to have a healthy and satisfying sexual experience with your partner.
How to become more embodied
Most of us spend most of our lives in our heads. We think, we overthink, we work on a computer, we sit a lot and we spend the day in our heads.
But what does it feel like to be more in your body?
Being ‘embodied’ is feeling more connected to your body. It is the ability to be in your body in the present moment. It is to feel at home in your body.
Becoming more embodied involves building on and developing this connection between your mind and body. It can be hard to get out of our heads but there are ways to be more embodied.
- A regular practice of yoga, dance, or tai chi builds body-mind awareness.
- Deep breathing exercises calm the mind and strengthen the connection.
- You can go deeper into the sensory experiences by immersing yourself in nature. Try forest bathing. Really taste your food and savor the flavors mindfully.
- Mediate daily.
- Walk barefoot in the grass and experience grounding with the earth.
These things will get you out of your head and into your body. They will give you a sense of self-awareness and embodiment in your day-to-day life.
Exercises to focus on the present moment
There are exercises to help you focus on the present moment. They can help you connect to the now and be more mindful:
- Mindful Breathing: Pay close attention to your breath, inhaling and exhaling slowly, focusing solely on the sensation and rhythm.
- Body Scan: Mentally scan your body from head to toe, noting any sensations or tension, without judgment.
- Mindful Walking: Walk slowly and deliberately, feeling each step, the ground beneath your feet, and the surrounding environment.
- Guided Meditation: Listen to guided mindfulness meditations that encourage you to anchor your attention on the present moment.
- Sensory Awareness: Engage your senses by fully experiencing a single object or a piece of food, noticing its textures, colors, smells, and tastes.
- Yoga and Tai Chi: These practices combine movement and breath to cultivate mindfulness and body awareness.
- Journaling: Write about your thoughts, emotions, and sensations, focusing on self-awareness and staying present.
- Nature Observation: Spend time in nature, immersing yourself in the sights, sounds, and sensations of the outdoors.
- Mindful Eating: Savor each bite of food, paying attention to flavors, textures, and the act of eating itself.
- Visualization: Picture a calming scenario in vivid detail, engaging your imagination in the present moment.
Consistently doing these exercises can help you to stay present more often.
What to wear
Feeling sexual is about your personal confidence and comfort. Wear clothing that makes you feel attractive and above all, confident. It can be lingerie, a loose dress, your favorite old T shirt or something that accentuates your body. It should be something that you like on yourself, that makes you feel comfortable.
Red is sexy. Wearing red can enhance perceptions of attractiveness and desirability as a potential romantic partner (Kayser DN, 2016). So, if you want to feel more attractive to yourself or to others, play around with the color red. Try red nail polish, clothes, or makeup.
Be more aware of tactical sensations in the body
It helps to become more aware of tactile sensations in your body. When you are more aware of touch, this is in fact being in your body.
To increase this awareness, start small:
Find a quiet space to sit or lie down comfortably. Close your eyes to eliminate visual distractions. Focus your attention on different parts of your body, starting with your toes and working your way up to your head. What sensations do you feel? Warmth, coolness, pressure, tingling or tension? Notice how your clothing or the air feels against your skin.
This practice cultivates mindfulness and increases your body awareness. It should be relaxing and help you to connect with the present moment. A regular practice can reduce stress and help you to feel more embodied.
Other ways to feel more sexual can be to have a conversation with your partner about your desires and your partner’s desires. Focus on communication and consent. This can help to establish trust. Avoid pressure, and only engage in sexual activity when you genuinely want to.
Educate yourself about sexuality and the human body. Start by exploring your body through self-touch and self-acceptance. Masturbation can help you understand what arouses you.
In the end, feeling sexual is a personal journey. Only you know where you are starting and where you want to go. It is an amazing feeling to step into your body and into your sexuality so enjoy the ride!
Go back to How to Have Sex
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