Do you know how to have sex that’s mutually enjoyable? We don’t get a lot of education or advice on this topic. It seems like people might just be too…embarrassed to talk about it. But we shouldn’t be!
Having healthy, consensual, and amazing sex is so good for us. It has incredible health benefits.
It reduces stress, blood pressure, and pain. It improves longevity, immunity, heart health, self-esteem, mood, libido, and sleep. With so much to offer, we should all be having amazing sex very frequently!
So…how do we go about it? How do we have Great Sex?
Once you’ve found your partner – which is a whole different topic by the way – a healthy sexual experience involves communication, consent, and mutual respect between you and your partner.
Some steps to take to ensure a positive sexual experience:
- Communication and Consent: Get consent through an open and honest conversation with your partner. Discuss your desires, boundaries and expectations. You want both your partner and yourself to enthusiastically consent to whatever you want to get up to. And remember, consent can be withdrawn at any point.
- Create a Comfortable Environment: You want you and your partner to feel comfortable, sexy and safe. Make sure you have privacy. Think about the lighting, temperature and ambiance to create a sexy vibe.
- Take Your Time: Don’t rush it. Languid and slow is sexy (although sometimes a quickie is what you both want). Depending on your mood, focus on foreplay to build arousal. Kiss, touch, try oral sex and other ways to stimulate each other.
- Use Protection: Especially if you’re not in a monogamous relationship, use a condom to prevent sexually transmitted infections and unwanted pregnancy.
- Explore Each Other’s Bodies: Pay attention to your partner’s responses as you explore their body. Every person is different. Take time to discover what they like.
- Communication During Intercourse: Keep communication going throughout the sexual activity. Ask your partner if they’re comfortable or if they want to try something different. Positive communication is vital to great sex.
- Be Attentive: How does your partner react, both verbally and nonverbally. If they seem uncomfortable, in pain or indicate something’s up, then stop what you’re doing and check in with them.
- Focus on Pleasure, Not Just Orgasm: Great sex is mutual pleasure and connection, not just an orgasm. Take the pressure off and create a more fulfilling experience for both of you.
- Practice Good Hygiene: Personal hygiene is important for both partners. Showering and cleaning before sexual activity is a healthy habit to get into.
- After Great Sex: Take time to cuddle, talk and be close. This reinforces the emotional connection between you and gives you a chance to check in with each other about the experience.
- Respect Boundaries: If at any point your partner is uncomfortable, asks you to stop or withdraws consent, immediately stop the activity. Boundaries are essential for a healthy sexual experience.
- Communicate Afterwards: After the experience, check in with your partner about how they feel. Open communication helps enhance future experiences.
We hope this short guide on how to have sex is helpful. It’s a topic we probably need to talk about more often. At The Libido Doctor, we want to break the silence and get this important stuff out into the open where it should be!