The Art of Self-Love: How to Make Love with Yourself

Do you know how beneficial orgasms are to your health? If you knew, you’d be having more sex! Orgasms reduce stress, blood pressure, and pain. They improve longevity, immunity, heart health, self-esteem, mood, libido, and sleep. Regular sex can also increase natural lubrication, strengthen vaginal muscles and decrease incontinence.  With so much to offer, we should all be having amazing sex very frequently! Also, as an icing on the cake: Women who masturbate are considerably more likely to reach orgasm during sexual activity than women who don’t masturbate (de Lucena B, 2014). So let’s dive in to understand how to make love with yourself!

The Solution to “Lots of Sex”

What if you are currently without a partner? We all have single phases in our lives and there is a very easy solution – make love with yourself!

You may find it embarrassing but masturbation is a perfectly normal thing to do. It is kind of a taboo subject but it shouldn’t be. We, or most of us, already do it so masturbation should not be a secret. 

Keep reading as we move on to the juicy stuff …

Some Tips On How To Make Love With Yourself 

The first question we want to answer is Are there any vibrators that are approved as FDA medical devices?

Generally speaking, the FDA does not regulate sex toys because they are not considered to be medical devices. But some sexual pleasure products can be medical devices. 

The FDA does regulate devices with a medical purpose, such as vibrators intended for therapeutic use. Vibration can help with blood flow. The stimulation to the vulva tissue provided by vibrators increases blood flow. That means stronger tissue, less dryness and more natural lubrication. 

So, the FDA may get involved in approving something providing vibration for sexual health. 

This is helpful because we always want to stay safe. We want a sex toy that won’t damage the vaginal or anal mucosa.  

The company Mystery Vibe has some vibrators registered by the FDA. They are called the Crescendo 2, Tenuto 2 and Poco vibrators. 

Mystery Vibe’s vibrators are designed by urologists, gynecologists and other doctors to help with sexual health issues like pelvic, prostatitis, penetration pain, erectile dysfunction, prostate arousal disorder and vaginal dryness, especially during menopause.

Tabu is another company registered with the FDA. Tabu’s sex products are also designed in conjunction with clinicians and therapists. They are also FDA cleared. 

Tabu products are specifically designed to help women achieve orgasm when making love with yourself. The Pearl is Tabu’s external vulva stimulator that’s made from medical-grade silicone. Tabu also has the Golden Hour Kit. This combines the Nuri vibrator, made with medical grade silicone, and Aureum, a personal lubricant, which is a moisturizing, water-based formula.

For FDA approval of a medical device, a company has to prove that its product does what the company claims it does in a clinical trial. This has costs involved so not all sex toy manufacturers will seek FDA approval

On Do You Have to Buy an FDA-Approved Vibrator? 

Not necessarily. Alternatively, you can ask for advice from staff in a sex shop. Find a good neighborhood sex toy shop. They will be selective about what toys they carry. Ask your local sex shop what kind of materials the toys are made of, if can they be sterilized, what kind of lube to use, etc. It is important to know what you’re buying.

Does self-pleasure help with sexual expression and confidence?

Of course, it does! Masturbation and using sex toys provide many physical and mental health benefits. We gain a deeper understanding of our bodies which can only increase our self-confidence and self-esteem.

Benefits When You Make Love With Yourself:

  • Promote body awareness
  • Decrease stress
  • Increase our sexual self-assurance and confidence 
  • Improve body image which also enhances self-confidence
  • Increase mood and provide a sense of relaxation and well-being

What Happens if You Pleasure Yourself Every Day?

When you make love with yourself regularly, you might like it! Masturbation is totally normal. Masturbating every day is healthy and safe, whether or not you have an orgasm. Some people masturbate every day or more than once a day. Other people do it once a month or once a year. Some people never masturbate at all

Can Masturbation Help With How to Communicate with a Partner?

Absolutely. Self-pleasure allows you to understand your own desires, preferences and needs. This can help to create an open dialogue with a partner about your sexual needs. Discussion and communication all lead to a healthier and more satisfying sexual relationship.

In fact, masturbation in a relationship keeps both partners ‘primed’ for satisfying sex. Sex is something we need to practice. So, you can look at masturbation not as a replacement for sex with your partner, but rather as practice for the big event.

And as we said, women who masturbate have higher levels of sexual satisfaction.

What Kind of Lube Should I Use With My Sex Toy?

Make sure that you know what lube goes with what type of sex toy. This is important to get right. Read the box of your self pleasure device to see what lube goes with it. 

For example, a water-based personal lubricant that’s rich in fatty acid helps with dryness. A water-based lube can be used in practically any activity you can think of, including with silicone toys. You can safely use a water-based lube with just about all of your sex toys, regardless of what your toy is made of.

Other types of lube can be damaging to vibrators or other sex toys. Oil-based products, lubes, creams and massage oils, can coat the sex toy. The only way to then get the oil off of it is by to use chemicals. This is not good for your toy or your body.

Keep silicone lubes away from sex toys made of or that contain silicone. It seems illogical but silicone lube and silicone toys do not mix well. If you use silicone lube on silicone toys, the lube will start to solidify onto the toy. The toy will melt into the lube, leaving you with a toy that is partially melted. When this happens, your toy is less sanitary. This creates abrasions in the silicone where bacteria can grow.

If you share sex toys or use them with more than one partner, use a water-based lubricant.


So, the health benefits are clear cut! If you aren’t having sex, maybe it’s time to get back on the horse. 

If you have no partner, no problem! 

You can pleasure yourself and reach orgasm just as often. And remember, women who masturbate reach orgasm more often than women who don’t! However, if you DO have a partner, go back and check out this post: How to Have Sex

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