Understanding and Managing Low Libido in Women: Causes, Symptoms, and Solutions

Hormonal Imbalances 

These can cause changes in libido, particularly during periods of hormonal flux such as pregnancy, breastfeeding, perimenopause, and menopause. These changes can lead to lower levels of estrogen, testosterone, and progesterone, which can negatively impact sexual desire. Certain medications, such as hormonal contraceptives, can also have an impact on hormone levels and libido.

Stress and Anxiety 

When we are feeling overwhelmed, anxious, or stressed out, it can be challenging to focus on pleasure and intimacy. High levels of stress can also lead to physical symptoms such as fatigue, headaches, and muscle tension, which can further impact libido.

Often, this leads to a vicious cycle. In healthy relationships, we release higher amounts of the hormone oxytocin. This hormone helps us regulate our stress hormones. More intimacy means better stress hormone regulation and less stress. However, the vicious cycle occurs because, much of the time, we do not feel like intimacy when we are stressed. Then, our oxytocin can plummet, leading to a more complex ability to regulate stress.

Relationship Issues 

Conflict, communication breakdown, and emotional distance can also impact libido. One of the most essential feelings in a relationship is safety. If we feel safe, our body feels relaxed. When we are not feeling secure in our relationships, our libido can suffer. Simple things can build up. If our partner is stressed when we reach out for emotional support and we get snapped up, this can lead to feelings of unsafety. Developing the ability to communicate about things after they happen (when the emotions settle) is essential.

Being able to clear the air instead of holding onto things can lead to emotional closeness. Ignoring feelings, pushing things under the rug, or telling ourselves, “It is not that big of a deal,” is a bad long-term strategy. While small things are often not big deals, they can build up, leading to bigger and bigger feelings of disconnection and unsafety. Looking for the ability to see minor conflicts as opportunities to grow is essential, as well as when your partner has a turn to talk and address the conflict. Work to listen and understand, not defend or make yourself right. Of course, you must also share and get a turn to talk. Allowing others to be heard often enables them to soften and listen to you.

In our group programs at My Libido Doc, we often discuss how to develop better communication with your partner.

Medical Conditions

Diabetes, thyroid problems, and depression can also contribute to low libido. Chronic pain, fatigue, and other physical symptoms associated with these conditions can make sex and intimacy less appealing. Proper lab testing is essential to determine imbalances in the body. Chronic hidden infections, nutrient deficiencies, and toxic burdens on the body can play a role.

Lifestyle Factors

Poor sleep, lack of exercise, and poor diet can also contribute to low libido. Feeling energized and focused on pleasure can be difficult when not caring for our physical health. Additionally, smoking, excessive alcohol consumption, and drug use can also impact libido negatively.

Differences in sexual preferences 

if you or your partner is into kink and the other one is not, there can be a discrepancy on turn-ons and turn-offs. This can impact one’s motivation for intimacy due to differences in intimacy styles.

This is why you must work on better communication with your partner. If your partner is into kink, but you are not, there may be things that you can try to help with this desire that stay within the confines of what makes you comfortable. The more you are open to exploring and being okay if you try something that does not go as smoothly as planned, the better the opportunity to find something that works for you both. Of course, honor your own needs around pleasure and safety, but do not be afraid to push outside of your comfort zone a bit to explore ways to help your partner feel cared for in this way. Even if what you try is never tried again, it can bring a lot of closeness (and sometimes laughter) to the relationship.

Is Not Wanting Sex “Normal”?

Having a rollercoaster sex drive isn’t weird at all. Lots of things can make you less interested in getting busy. From hormone issues like high prolactin to health probs to certain meds like SSRIs to just feeling stressed – the reasons are endless. Even some types of birth control, like the pill, can kill your sex appetite.

Here’s the key: sexual interest isn’t static – it fluctuates. The occasional dry spell is no big deal and totally “normal.” It’s only a problem when the lack of interest doesn’t go away and makes you feel crappy, which is FSIAD territory.

How Often Should Couples Get It On?

There’s no magic number for how often couples should have sex. It’s personal and depends on their unique preferences and circumstances. Libido levels change based on age, health, emotional connection, and lifestyle. Comparing your sex life to others will just lead to false expectations and pointless worry. Focus on quality, not quantity! The key is being open and try to explain your libido  with your partner – what you want, need, and feel. That vulnerability builds understanding and leads to better sex. It’s about figuring out what feels suitable for you and your relationship – not living up to society’s standards.  

 Everyone experiences sexuality differently, so don’t judge your journey based on silly myths about female libido. It’s all about your comfort, timeline, and fulfillment.

Recognizing Low Libido Symptoms

Step one to dealing with low libido is noticing the signs. How this looks varies based on your expectations and definition of a good sex drive. But generally, low libido means consistently lacking interest in sex or fantasizing.

The Best Libido Quiz Women Should Take

A helpful tool for checking your sexual health is the Female Sexual Function Index (FSFI). This is a quiz used in clinical studies that looks at different areas of sexual function, like desire, arousal, lubrication, orgasm, satisfaction, and pain. Take this Libido Quiz to get some insight into where you’re at sexually.

This quiz isn’t an official diagnosis but a starting point to better understand your concerns. Random dips in sex drive are standard. But consistently low libido that stresses you out could mean seeking help.

The key is being open about your sexual health – with your partner and your healthcare team. Spotting low libido symptoms is the first step to boosting your sexual health and happiness.