What Causes Low Libido for Women
What causes low libido is an under talked about situation that impacts between 40-70% of people, depending upon which study you read. While there is a big difference between 40 and 70%, regardless, this is a common issue, which is not commonly talked about due to the nature of the topic.
Low libido is an under talked about situation that impacts between 40-70% of people, depending upon which study you read. While there is a big difference between 40 and 70%, regardless, this is a common issue, which is not commonly talked about due to the nature of the topic.
The other problem with this topic is the question of WHO to talk to. Commonly, for women, if they tell their doctor they have low libido, they are given hormones and sent away. If they talk to their therapist about it, they are counseled to talk to their partner. At The Libido Doctor, we help women understand the wide variety of things that can cause low libido as well as provide a place to talk about these challenging situations.
Low libido, or a decreased interest in sex, is a common issue for women of all ages. While it can be a normal part of life to experience occasional dips in libido, persistent low libido can be a source of stress and anxiety for many women. There are many potential causes of low libido in women, ranging from physical to emotional factors. In this blog, we’ll explore some of the most common causes of low libido in women.
- Hormonal Imbalances
- Stress and Anxiety
- Relationship Issues
- Medical Conditions
- Lifestyle Factors
- Differences In Sexual Preferences
Top Factors in What Causes Low Libido for Women…
Hormonal Imbalances can cause changes in libido, particularly during periods of hormonal flux such as pregnancy, breastfeeding, perimenopause, and menopause. These changes can lead to lower levels of estrogen, testosterone, and progesterone, which can negatively impact sexual desire. Certain medications, such as hormonal contraceptives, can also have an impact on hormone levels and libido.
Stress and Anxiety can have a significant impact on sexual desire. When we are feeling overwhelmed, anxious, or stressed out, it can be difficult to focus on pleasure and intimacy. High levels of stress can also lead to physical symptoms such as fatigue, headaches, and muscle tension, which can further impact libido.
Often, this leads to a very vicious cycle. In healthy relationships, we release higher amounts of the hormone oxytocin. This hormone helps us to regulate our stress hormones. More intimacy means better stress hormone regulation and less stress. But the vicious cycle occurs because much of the time, when we are stressed, we do not feel like intimacy. Then our oxytocin can plummet, leading to a harder ability to regulate stress.
Relationship Issues, such as conflict, communication breakdown, and emotional distance, can also impact libido. One of the most important feelings in relationship is safety. If we feel safe, our body feels relaxed. When we are not feeling safe in our relationships, our libido can suffer.
Simple things can build up. If our partner is stressed when we reach out for emotional support and we get snapped up, this can lead to feelings of unsafety. It is important to develop the ability to communicate about things after they happen (when the emotions settle). Being able to clear the air instead of holding onto things can lead to emotional closeness. Ignoring feelings, pushing things under the rug, or telling ourselves, “it is not that big of a deal” is a bad long term strategy. While small things are often not big deals, they can build up leading to bigger and bigger feelings of disconnection and unsafety.
Looking for the ability to see small conflicts as opportunities to grow is essential. When your partner has a turn to talk about the conflict. Really work to listen to understand, not to defend or to make yourself right. Of course, you will need to share and get a turn to talk as well. When we give others the opportunity to be heard, this can oftentimes allow them to soften and hear you.
In our group programs at The Libido Doctor, we talk a lot about how to develop better communication with your partner.
Medical Conditions, such as diabetes, thyroid problems, and depression, can also contribute to low libido. Chronic pain, fatigue, and other physical symptoms associated with these conditions can make sex and intimacy less appealing. Doing the right lab testing to figure out imbalances such as these in the body is important. Even certain chronic hidden infections, nutrient deficiencies and toxic burden on the body can play a role.
Lifestyle Factors, such as poor sleep, lack of exercise, and poor diet, can also contribute to low libido. When we are not taking care of our physical health, it can be difficult to feel energized and focused on pleasure. Additionally, smoking, excessive alcohol consumption, and drug use can also impact libido negatively.
Differences in sexual preferences can impact libido as well. For example, if you or your partner is into kink and the other one is not, there can be a discrepancy on turn ons and turn offs. This can impact one’s motivation for intimacy due to differences in intimacy styles. This is why it is important that you work on better communication with your partner. If your partner is into kink, but you are not, there may be things that you can try to help with this desire that stay within the confines of what makes you comfortable. The more you are open to explore and be okay if you try something and does not go as smoothly as planned the better opportunity to find something that works for you both. Of course, honor your own needs around pleasure and safety, but do not be afraid to push outside of your comfort zone a bit to explore ways to help you partner feel cared for in this way. Even if what you try is never tried again, it can bring a lot of closeness (and sometimes laughter) to the relationship.
Be willing to challenge your own beliefs about intimacy looking/being a certain way. There are a lot of ways that one can experience intimacy and closeness. Taking a moment to explore your own beliefs around this can also help you break down walls that can lead to further closeness.
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