Introduction to the Libido Lounge

Dr. Diane: Hey everybody, welcome to another episode of the Libido Lounge! I’m Dr. Diane, your board-certified sexologist and libido doctor, and I have a treat for you today. We’re diving into all sorts of juicy topics: cervical orgasms, mastering male sexual energy, the women’s arousal map, and how it can expand pleasure and orgasms. Plus, in part two of our exclusive content, we’ll explore non-ejaculatory orgasms for men, using tantra and ancient traditions to heighten pleasure, closeness, and connection, and even using sex for healing and spiritual connection. Here to guide us, I have two special guests and new friends, Leah Piper and Dr. Willow Brown. Welcome to the Libido Lounge, you two!

Leah: I’m so happy to be here with you!

Dr. Willow: Such a pleasure, Dr. Diane. We’re excited to dive in.

Unpacking Cervical Orgasms

Dr. Diane: Let’s jump in with cervical orgasms. I think we need to unpack a few things: what are they, how do they differ from other orgasms, and why they can be scary for many women, especially since deeper penetration can sometimes be painful. The cervix often only gets touched during gyno exams or childbirth, or maybe banged up against when someone’s going too deep too soon. So, let’s start high-level: why should we even care about cervical orgasms?

Leah: One of the things that’s so powerful about them is they have three nerve pathways that carry different types of pleasure to the brain: the hypogastric nerve, the pelvic nerve, and the vagus nerve. These nerves are also found in other zones, but what’s cool about female pleasure is that stimulating different erogenous zones connected to these nerve plexuses gives you different types of pleasure. A clitoral orgasm feels different from a cervical orgasm, which feels different from a G-spot or anal orgasm. The cervix is unique because it has all three major nerve pathways, so it’s a profound, often full-body release. Because the vagus nerve runs through it, it can really open your heart. The vagus nerve is the wandering nerve, the only one running up the front of the body to the brain, unlike others that go through the spine. So, people often liken it to a “crygasm” or “heartgasm.” There’s something unique about cervical orgasms that opens vulnerable centers. Women often feel so touched and overwhelmed by the pleasure that they cry, melt, or feel a sense of transcendence. But because the cervix is so sensitive and often feels beat up with too much friction, it requires a slow, thumping kind of touch to open up to deeper pleasure.

Dr. Willow: I’d add that it also requires a higher level of arousal. When we’re at peak arousal, the cervix and uterus contract upward, making more space for deeper penetration. That’s why getting banged too fast, too deep, too early feels bad—we’re not at the right arousal level. There are lots of nuances to achieving this type of climax. In a heterosexual experience, the head of the penis, which is tied to the heart center in reflexology, connects energetically or physically with the cervix, which is also the heart region for the female. This creates a union of masculine and feminine, dropping you out of a dualistic mindset into a state of oneness. The vagus nerve carries that oneness through the belly, gut, heart, and throat, expanding the experience of being present and in powerful, potent receptivity. The vagus nerve runs through the yin channel, the receptive channel in your body. There’s also a metaphysical component to this.

Personal Experiences and Tips for Cervical Pleasure

Dr. Diane: That’s beautiful. The awe of cervical orgasms is so striking. I hear stories of women describing this overwhelming awe, and that’s been my own experience too. The first time I had one, it felt like dissolving into nothingness, almost like the depths of meditation, but different. It’s connecting to something far beyond the body. For women and their partners wanting to explore this, you’ve mentioned going slow and allowing vaginal lengthening. Maybe the woman needs to be more in control of how the cervix is touched. Are there other tips, especially for those whose only experience with their cervix is pain from pap smears, childbirth, or rough penetration? How do we unwind or relax the cervix to experience this pleasure?

Leah: One technique I use is imagining a cone shape with fingers pointing down. You go inside with one or two fingers, gently caressing the cervix, feeling and melting the tissue. You’re moving really slowly, noticing the shape. Some women feel bruising or indentations where the cervix might be misshapen, even if it’s been removed. You gently stroke around the front, back, and lower until you’re massaging the tip. Let the person feel, breathe, and experience any emotions stuck in the tissue. Traumatic experiences, like a challenging birth, are held in the cells, and we need to unwind them. This applies to many vaginal erogenous zones—it’s not immediately awakened. We need conscious touch, energy, attention, sensitivity, and emotion through our hands to allow unwinding of a woman’s journey of having a vagina. Take a deep breath, have a moment just for her to catch up to everything she’s gone through, and bear witness, even if she’s doing it herself. You can find hot spots, burny bits, owies, bruises, heat, or even a “broken glass” sensation. You breathe through it, like unfurling a flower, peeling back layers of discomfort to find pleasure.

Dr. Willow: I love that flower analogy. It’s petal by petal. If you go into a sexual experience with the agenda of having a cervical orgasm, good luck—it probably won’t happen. It’s like Amrita; these phenomena are mysterious and come when they come. It’s about dropping into receptivity and staying present. What’s this sensation? What does it require of me? Sometimes it reminds you of past trauma, like being molested as a child. That’s uncomfortable, but if you don’t unfurl that petal, you likely won’t reach your pleasure. About 80% of women don’t have orgasms from vaginal intercourse alone, so many aren’t having sex that heals, connects, builds bones, reduces stress, boosts serotonin, lowers anxiety, improves sleep, or deepens connection with their partner. That’s what hot, modern monogamy is about.

The Spiritual and Emotional Depth of Cervical Orgasms

Leah: What’s unique about the cervix is it requires so much stillness and slowness, probably more than any other region in the body, to unfurl. That’s where sacred sex gets its juice—it forces you to settle into the moment, into presence, to be sensitive and pay attention to what’s happening in your system. You can’t do that if you’re going fast or chasing a goal. This is about curiosity and quieting, requiring a meditative skill set.

Dr. Willow: Even after years of practice, I still experience discomfort on the way to pleasure. It feels itchy, burny, uncomfortable, and part of me wants to resist. But another part knows the value of going into the sensation. Life keeps happening, and we store issues in our tissues, so we have to keep unfurling moment by moment.

Dr. Diane: What’s happening in our intimate life often mirrors our life outside the bedroom. We try to escape uncomfortable sensations—sadness, anger, disappointment—but shoving them under the rug doesn’t make them go away. They pop up in weird, icky ways. Exploring the cervix is a great analogy for practicing sitting with discomfort, giving it space and a voice, which softens and moves it. I’m curious about tantra and breathwork, especially with the womb-to-heart-to-pineal gland connection. Have you seen practices like these help with the cervix?

Tantra and Expanding Sensations

Dr. Willow: Tantra helps us expand into all sensations—yummy and challenging. If we feel pain, we contract, but tantra teaches us to expand into it. Slowing down is a key principle because when we’re going fast, it’s hard to feel the moment. Presence means accessing sensations through our five senses, which are doorways to the present. For me, it’s auditory—a single bird chirp drops me into the now. Senses help us cultivate receptivity, the feminine’s greatest superpower, which isn’t valued or taught in our society. All the Daoist and white tantra practices come in handy when awakening the cervix.

Leah: If I could teach one tantric thing to make women master lovers, it would be having educated pelvic floor muscles. Kegels might be a familiar term, but it’s about building awareness and subtle movement. When you can separate the anal sphincter, pubococcygeus, and lower abdominal recti muscles, you can play your yoni like a three-string instrument. This brings fresh, oxygenated blood to the tissue, increasing sensation and attuning your mind-body connection. By contracting, you can pull your cervix up; by hyper-relaxing, you can let it drop. I guide people through a meditative process to build a deep relationship with their pelvic floor. It’s like a shakti, juicy pump, connecting you to your sexual energy, creativity, and control over your turn-on. Masterful women can even orgasm just by pulsing and releasing their pelvic floor.

Creating Safety and Releasing Emotions

Dr. Diane: All this—senses, pelvic floor, control—helps our bodies feel safe. When we’re in fight-or-flight from trauma or triggers, we can’t tune into subtle body sensations. These practices signal to our tissues it’s okay to relax, feel pleasure, and experience joy. It’s also okay to feel fear or rage. Can you stay present with it? Sometimes rage needs to release because it’s been suppressed for years, blocking your biggest pleasure. Having a partner hold space can take the isolation out of fight, flight, or freeze responses.

Leah: Exactly. A partner can bring you back, asking, “Where’d you go? What are you feeling?” You don’t have to feel it alone.

Sponsor Break: My Libido Doc

Dr. Diane: Quick break to talk about our sponsor, My Libido Doc. We believe great sex is available to everyone—you just have to learn how. Head over to mylibidodoc.com to get your free copy of our ebook, *Five StepsTer, and you can find me on YouTube, on Instagram, and check out our Modern Libido Club for so much more!